I haven't shared anything for awhile, nor will I be able to share everything, because of this difficult time dealing with my father's cancer.
November, so far, has been another month of ups and downs. I shall begin with an 'up'.
Stephen and I went to the Greater Victoria Film Commission Industry Mixer on November 10, 2010. Before we left from work at the seniors' facility at 8pm, some of our co-workers insisted on taking photos of our get-up. At the Mixer Party, I saw a number of people I knew there; some were too busy talking up a storm with others. There are so many people in Victoria and on the Island in general who are in the Film Industry: Brian Paisley (Screenwriter/Teacher), Kathleen Gilbert (Film Commissioner/Location Manager), Fabiola (GVFC Web/Location Scout), Krista Loughton (Actress/Cinevic), Susan Jones (GVFC Board of Directors), Michael Reid (Film Critic), etc. I had never seen, nor tasted so many dips at one time before. The party? A bit overwhelming, but fun. :-)
Next is a 'down'.
On Tuesday, November 16, Mum and Dad arrived late at the Victoria Bus Depot. I took them immediately to the BC Cancer Agency for their appointment with the cancer specialists. I had wanted to have a bit of coffee with them but because the bus arrived late from Nanaimo, it wasn't to be. Dad appeared to have aged since I last saw him during Thanksgiving. When I dropped them off in front of the Cancer Agency, it was then that I noticed Dad could barely walk even with his cane. These two things seared me emotionally.
By the time, I arrived at work, in tears I told everything to Stephen. He was sorry I didn't have time for a coffee with them.
Later, while at work, Stephen received a phonecall from my parents. They wished for Stephen to pick them up and not a taxi. Stephen told them, he would when he finished work which was in 25 minutes time. They agreed to wait.
Stephen took them to our little home and showed them around. They had a bite to eat and Stephen then left for his evening art class.
After I finished work at 8 pm, I picked up my parents from our place, then picked up Stephen from his class which always finishes at 8:30 pm. I drove them all to the Pennyfarthing Pub in Oak Bay where we had a very late, delicious meal.
We shared much and Dad quietly admitted he is scared. Mum is coping well and appears to be doing better than I. (I love my Dad, but I could never be close to him for sanity's sake.)
The specialists said they cannot do chemo on Dad because it would kill him; he is too weak and the cancer is in both lungs. They don't advise radiation either, not until the largest nodule which is already beginning to push his windpipe, is definitely hindering his breathing -- in other words, when the end is in sight. That is the best they can do.
Mum told me that the brain scan AND bone scan revealed that everything was CLEAR! Go figure. Why did the doctors say they believed the source of his cancer was from the brain? A mystery.
Lastly, they said his cancer is so uncommon, they don't know if he has four weeks to live or 2 years. Needless to say, this information makes emotions topsy-turvy and difficult to deal with.
What got us worried was that Dad's legs almost gave out on two occasions when walking back to the car, and during another incident, he complained about a terrible pain in his hip. I told Mum to make sure she informs their family Doctor when they return to Nanaimo.
The following day, after Stephen dropped me off work at 12 noon, he drove them back home to Nanaimo -- a one and a half hours drive. They insisted he stay for a bite to eat before driving back to Victoria. Both were very grateful for all we had done for them and apologized for infringing on our time. Stephen reassured them that they weren't and that they need to ask when they do require help, which they need to do perhaps a little more often especially now since Dad is not well.
This is all I'm able share right now.
