This morning I just answered a call for documentary actresses for a film about Breast Cancer. The contract pay is a pittance, but I figure that anything to boost up my film industry portfolio is good. I emailed a published poem to them for extra measure, however I don't know whether it'll get me that much further through their door. Now I have to wait and see.

THE DISEASED ORGAN
by Nicole Faucher


a heart is never still in darkness to those
who listen to organs whisper worries
my body tries to tell me by years' weight gain
for no (known) reason
yet the doctors find nothing

hiatal hernia hounds with bile bloats and regurgitation
only during moon cycles
and the doctors find nothing

intuition nags but the doctors find nothing until --
an unearthly thing presses my nerves
I limp into fire

two words
uterine cancer

my womb genetically betrayed me
a growth inaudibly mouths:
"I killed your grandmother,
your great grandmother
and your father's aunt.
Now I am your slow silent killer and you are my last."

I answer, I know you and
you will not take me


~~~~~~~

Today proved to be one of burning off extra energy and one of reflections. This past month, so far, has tested me to make time for my screenplay writing, going to my first screenplay writing group (Round Table), poetry reading in various cafes, going to the regular writers' group (Crones' Cauldron), being accepted in at least two indie films as a background actress, setting up my profile on the GVFC Crew Community board, being accepted for a photo shoot, gardening, emailing a couple of paragraphs to A.W. in preparation for the Calling All Artists Gala in early September, watercolour painting, oil painting, sending my 1st screenplay for registraion with the Writers Guild of Canada, etc. This is on top of my full-time job at Sunset Lodge as an Activity Aide for seniors.

I have been flowing in creativity like a tap on full blast. This past year, something inside slowly turned on and now it's running and I cannot stop it.

I phoned D.S. to meet her downtown for a walk-about. When we met, I had just put on a couple of band-aids on my blistered feet. Her life is the "same old routine" which is unfortunate as she's been reduced to living on welfare for the past two months. Plus she's been recently diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. I always knew she was odd and clumsy, but also as being bright and having a good hearted soul. She hasn't told her mother yet, nor does she believe she will ever do so. She told one of her daughters who she believes has it. So much for D.S. who was diagnosed having learning disabilities when a child.

We enjoyed vegetarian falafels at a Lebanese cafe on Fort St. before we went browsing through books at Russell's. We reminisced about yesterday's Poetry Reading at Overleaf Cafe-Bookshop. She thanked me for the treat out.

Doors now seem to be closing for my friend and are redirecting her in another direction. Where? We don't know.

And doors are opening for me in a new field - the film industry.