Stephen & I are both coping with terrible colds right now -- but we're gradually (read 'too slowly') getting over them.


Please ignore the dates on the photos. They are wrong -- Stephen forgot to delete his messed up dating on his small camera that he lent to me for the trip.

Stephen & I began our week of March 24th by contacting as many friends and family as possible about where we going to be from March 25th to April 1st. I gave them my parents' phone number should anyone wish to call Stephen as my parents are "computer deprived".

Stephen would stay mainly in Nanaimo and will be busy painting the interior of my parents' house. God bless that kind-hearted man's soul!

However Stephen had the strength to paint only one large room in my parents' house as a result of the blasted sickness and his back gave out from moving the heavy furniture that was in that room. Poor guy. However as usual, Stephen enjoyed my Mum's cooking. Stephen also took on the duty of gently putting my Dad in his place when he was getting too demanding of my Mum. ;-)

And the Gulf Islands Film & Television School? By ferry, I arrived at the intensive hands-on film course on Galiano Island to learn the ropes of pre-production, production & post-production for 6 days, 10 to 12 hours per day, rain, hail or shine!

There were 3 Documentary teams, 2 YouTube teams, 1 Drama Film team, etc. Throughout the 6 days, it RAINED, RAINED, and RAINED with a mere six hours of sunshine during the whole ordeal -- not enough to dry the 4 inch deep muddy roads! We also had a power outage during a fierce storm that lasted several hours and our little Drama Film team of 3 persevered through our preproduction work by candlelight. Even the school's cook, Tim, still did his best in the kitchen by candlelight! Also, our little Drama Film team thanked the powers-that-be for the 3 of those six hours of sunshine on the day of our shoot! What a miracle! O_O BTW, our Drama Film team was comprised of A.W. (18 yr old), K.B. (28 yr old) and yours truly (50 yr old).

Typical of the Film Industry, there are wacky names given to various trailers and rooms at G.I.F.T.S. that forced smiles on our faces: the Nerd Room, the Hobbit Hole, the Blue Trailer, the Geek Sound Room, the Black Hole, etc.

Needless to say, our Mentors were extremely impressed with our little team's efforts and our 6 minute film. G.H., the Director of the school, shook hands with me after seeing our film and said: "You had a very strong plot for such a short film. That is hard to do and is quite the accomplishment." Due to the fact I had a horrible bout of laryngitis that day, all I could do was smile in deepest appreciation and whisper: "Thank you."

I want to go back in the late summer/early fall -- this time possibly with my beloved hubby, Stephen, in tow. Whether we can do this or not is a matter of budget. Of course, we'll both be over our blasted colds by then.

Stephen had Acrylic Painting lessons every Monday at Camosun College at the beginning of this year -- a Christmas gift from me. At first, he was frustrated with Acrylics, however I kept telling him: "Be patient. It takes practice." He's done 2 acrylic paintings on irises, but was not satisfied with them. However, still getting inspiration from photos of flowers he finally completed a beautiful piece of tulips.

I resigned from my Shop Steward position in January. What a weight off my shoulders! Gossip and bullshit continued even through the Union Local elections. A few people wanted me to be nominated for certain positions, but I refused. Enough is enough.

For the whole month of February, Salvation Army Sunset Lodge was under quarantine due to a bad outbreak of Norwalk Flu/Norovirus. Tensions ran high after 4 weeks as a result. When the quarantine was lifted, a cheer rose up from our senior residents -- two went out for a walk outside with me and another fled down the elevator to visit her friend on 1st Floor.

Four seniors' homes in the Victoria area were hit with this menacing Norovirus: Beacon Hill Villa (Private), Malaspina Gardens, Sidney Care Home and Salvation Army Sunset Lodge.

The future looks bleak for BC's Healthcare -- has been for awhile as you already know. The Care Aides and LPNs at Malaspina Gardens were given their 6 month lay-off notices a few weeks ago. They are now rallying. This care home was undergoing renovations for a little over a year. Malaspina Gardens is being sold and privatized like Beacon Hill Villa. Stephen's and my personal concerns are that the writing is on the wall for Salvation Army Sunset Lodge. Our facility has been undergoing renovations for over the past two years. It is what VIHA considers well over a "saleable" age of 16 to 18 years -- and therefore necessary to renovate.

Not only that, almost all Union contracts are due on April 1st -- HEU, BCGEU, IUOE, BCNU, etc., etc. (Former Premier Campbell's work!) Is there the possibility of a province-wide strike? Gee, I hope not. O_o"

On the up side in my life, I'm going to G.I.F.T.S. for a TV & Film Intensive Program (6 day training in film crew work) in the last week of March. http://www.giftsfilms.com/
Yes, I'm roughing it in the bush -- literally! And I'm planning to go for my MFA in Screenwriting at UVic for next year. Not bad for wacky, creative me, eh? More on this one later. ;-)

Of course, Dad has NOT been driving the car since early January. So, Dad is trying to sell his little, practical car at the present. ;-)

Mum is as spry as ever. She uses the Handi-dart like there's no tomorrow. Last month, she went to her Dentist by Handi-dart and after her appointment was finished, she walked the long distance from his office to Safeway to do grocery shopping before the Handi-dart picked her up from the shopping center. She gushed over the phone: "Niki, it was freedom to finally go for such a long walk and stretch my legs! I LOVED it!" (Mum will be 88 in May this year! )

The public health nurse visited Dad and showed him his new commode while Mum was enjoying her chores that same day. Dad walks with a walker and can go for only 8 feet before he has to stop to catch his breath (huffing & puffing). He has the commode by the sofa where he sleeps every night, so he doesn't have to struggle down the long hallway to the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning (4am). He's still coughing up blood, and the doctor did an X-ray on Dad's lungs again -- the bronchial cancer is pressing on his heart.

Despite the two horrendous wind storms this past week, Snowdrops and Hellebores are blooming in my garden, plus I pruned our dwarf apple tree. Yes, spring has arrived.

Christmas Letter 2011


Happy Holidays, everyone!

2011 is coming to an end. For both of us, it has been kind of mellow with a bit of excitement thrown in for good measure.

Stephen's work in healthcare occupies much of his time. This will be his 25th year in the seniors' facility, so he thinks they own his soul.

Stephen continues to strive for excellence in watercolour painting. Sometimes things go right. Sometimes they end up in the fireplace. Stephen has also been using Nicole's old manual Nikon camera with the zoom lens taking photos for potential paintings. He has also, with Nicole's encouragement, started writing his first screenplay. Fixing up the house and the backyard are also on his list of things to do.

For those who Stephen's mother well, she is failing due to old age and various health problems. His mother can not get out much anymore. She runs short of breath, but Stephen and his brother, George, do try and get her out and about.

Stephen's daughter, Sarah, is hard at it working in a toy store and going to university at night. Sarah received her Human Resources Certificate and is now taking Business Management courses. She has a boyfriend, Richard, who is trying to become a paramedic.

Nicole's daughter -- yes, for the ones who are scratching their heads -- Sophia and her boyfriend, Tom, moved from Kelowna to Victoria in February and moved out of our little house in May into their own tiny apartment. Thank God! Nothing like having 2 alpha females in the same household. They love each other very much, but cannot live under the same roof.

Sophia now works where both Nicole and Stephen work. She works in the laundry department. Everyone always comments on how hard she works (it's NOT the easiest job) and how much they love her melodious singing voice. Sophia still lives with her nice boyfriend, Tom, who works at a furniture & appliance store.

Both Sarah and her boyfriend, Richard, visited us in July for a week. And the two stepsisters walked about town and swapped stories about boyfriends as well as life in general.

Lastly, Stephen's love of his life, Nicole, is still working as an Activity Aide for seniors and continues to be Shop Steward. She's been in 1 major film this year and had film industry head shots done. Nicole also keeps busy writing screenplays and taking courses. She continues to outsell Stephen in art; she sold an oil painting in early September during an Arts Gala. Now, if Stephen can get her to sell another 5,000, then Stephen might be able to retire. Nicole truly does not have enough fingers in the pie!

Nicole's cousin, Robert, and his girlfriend, Elaine, bravely rode all the way from Ajax, Ontario on a motorbike in July just to see us and a couple of Elaine's relations! It was really good to connect with family for a few, too short days.

As for Nicole's parents --. Janet, her mother, continues to strive with day to day living. Any time we see her, Janet is always in a good mood. Stephen doesn't think she was ever in a bad mood. Nicole's dad, Paul, is tiring and the end is very close, but he puts up the good fight against his cancer.

That's this year's news from our perspective. May you have a Merry Christmas & a happy, healthy 2012!

October's Thanksgiving with my parents in Nanaimo was a mixed blessing. Dad stayed out of our hair (myself, Stephen & Mum) during the preparation. The meal was wonderfully delicious.

What I did not expect was a huge, horrible revelation which my father shared with my husband while I assisted Mum with the dishes after that lovely meal!

I always knew Dad to be a cruel, jealous man -- whether it is against his brother, me, my sister, anyone, due to his deep rooted personal insecurities.

Once my husband was alone with me that night in my parents' spare room, he shared everything with me about that fateful night from many, many years past when Uncle R. stayed with us on a business trip in Ottawa. I was about 13 years old and my sister E. was about 11 years old. It all makes sense as to why Dad so adamantly refused to support my desire to go to Sheridan College (and had terrible arguments with Mum about it). Mum privately confessed to me late Monday night (October 10th - Canadian Thanksgiving) -- Dad had strictly told Mum NEVER to tell me anything when he found out I could not remember the reason for the rift years later. Dad knew that Uncle R. was my favourite uncle and that I would attempt to renew contact with his family back then. Everyone who knows my artistic talents and me, knows that Dad tyranically held me back, but no one ever knew the real reason why. My pursuit in an arts career perhaps would have had a firm base despite my severe hearing loss. Well, what's bygone is bygone --.

When my husband told me all the details, I confessed to Stephen I could not rember the meal at all of that fateful night. All I could remember was waking up just before 1 am & seeing my poor sister Edith with her pillow clamped over her head, trying to block out the mayhem downstairs. Naturally, with my curiosity, I crept downstairs to sit on the last few steps of the stairs. It was then that I witnessed the wine glass flying across the far side of the living room and smashing against the wall. P.S., who was one of the guests that night, rushed down the hall, apologised to my Mother, who was in the kitchen, and then quickly left. Mum apparently couldn't sleep because my Father was arguing with his brother. Wide eyed, I then ran back half-way up the stairs, and continued to listen in bewilderment. First, Uncle R.'s words: "You will regret this. I will never step foot in your house ever again." And my Father's words: "I will hold you to your word, Ray."

I experienced 2 flashbacks in the wee hours of October 11th -- terrible memories flooded back to haunt me. The memories hurt me and I had at least 2 good cries.

And my Father, even though he is now near death, refuses to see his brother who wants to make peace! My Father is holding his brother to his word to the very bitter end. All this because of overdrinking. What utter stupidity!

I will write more later this holiday season.

In March, I experienced what it's like as a background actor in my 1st full-length feature film "Magic Beyond Words: the JK Rowling Story". Fun and "hurry up & wait" describe those 2 days. I learned so many terms and jargin, ie: wiper, holding area, etc.

Unfortunately, when the made for TV movie came out, it was only shown on Lifetime, an American channel. Go figure! But I do know that sooner or later, it will come out on CTV or another Canadian channel. It's a matter of waiting.

On May 5, I finished the Meisner Acting course. It had to be the toughest course I had ever taken academically or in the arts field I had ever taken. Needless to say, I persevered. It pushed me to my limit during an extremely difficult time, healthwise and at work with major Human Rights & Harassment cases, plus Labour Management meetings. (I was Chief Shop Steward -- more later.)

Due to the fact that I hadn't used my new pro camera he gave me at Christmas, Stephen pampered me to a wonderful fulfilling Mother's Day by taking me to various places: Royal Roads University Mother's Day event, Fisherman's Wharf Open House, Beacon Hill Park, etc. We took our time.

Meanwhile as things heated to boiling point at work, the Human Right Investigator and the HEU Director begged and implored me not to resign as Chief Shop Steward, I worked out a compromise. I am no longer Chief Shop Steward, but I will deal only with Human Rights & Harassment issues. I will no longer do the itty-bitty stupid cases with the workers' constant grievances that take me away from my days off. And no more Labour Management meetings unless it has to do with Human Rights & Harassment. My co-worker E.P. will do the other LMMs. What a relief!

The latest pelvic ultrasound revealed that I'm now cancer-free, however I have a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst that must be monitored. (Even though it has since popped, I'm still due for another ultrasound in September!)

I will bring more updates to this blog later.

A long time has passed since I've sat down long enough to bring this blog up-to-date. Life's creative journey continues to be intense, passionate and hopeful despite the obstacles placed in my path and those who are close to me.

Stephen and I are shop stewards. December was a tension-filled, emotional month with lay-offs, snarky comments by co-workers Stephen and I least expected, also by the usual bullies. We tried to keep the peace while listening with compassion to those who have tears. I prayed for the storm and its aftermath to pass quickly.

ADP (Adult Day Program of the Activities Department) wasn't touched during the lay-offs. However Floor Activities positions (myself & 2 others) were reduced from full-time to part-time. I was lucky in that I was at the top in seniority and had first pick. I picked Day Time; the others were "mop up" positions. Also all LPNs & RCAs were laid off as well. Stephen has 24 years seniority, so he was able to gain another Full-Time position. Many others weren't so fortunate. So many tears, so much heartache and so much wrongly placed anger.

"Mop up" positions are those that 1) take place when I'm not there, and 2) work evenings with some overlap while I'm on.

My daughter, Sophia, and her boyfriend, T.L., arrived from Kelowna in the morning of December 24th to stay with us for the holidays. Together we enjoyed Christmas Eve Mass at St. John the Divine's Anglican Church. We all (and the cats included -- the bird stayed with Stephen's Mum) visited my Mum and Dad in Nanaimo overnight to enjoy another Christmas Dinner. Dad cough hasn't improved and is most distressing to hear. However he seemed happy to see us all. T.L. and Sophia shopped in Nanaimo a bit and later, after we returned to Victoria, they did more shopping and saw friends. A warm, wonderful Christmas Holiday was enjoyed by all.

On Sunday, January 16th, D.S. and I went to G.C.'s Memorial at James Bay New Horizons on Menzies. I shared with her a few symptoms that I had been suffering from lately that were very much like the precancer symptoms I had in 2007. D.S. was shocked. I wept heavily at one point during the service. D.S. and I shared a few recollections of G.C. with others that afternoon. D.S. remarked to me while we sipped our tea afterwards, "You cannot go before me. You're too young."

The Crones' Cauldron is down one. D.S. is too unsettled where she lives right now and A.V. is visiting her daughter in the USA while her house is up for sale, so the Crones' Cauldron Writing Group definitely has to wait.

On Saturday, January 29th, Stephen brought a large birthday cake with red and yellow roses on top, so I could share it with the senior residents who came to the Social Hour program. They sang "Happy Birthday" to me twice! As there was still a lot of cake left over, I shared the rest with staff on every floor, including the kitchen and housekeeping staff. All were touched by the offer and enjoyed the cake.

Later, Stephen treated me to a lovely vegetarian dinner at Studio 18, a restaurant o the 18th floor of a hotel. A great view of Victoria at night! The warme, sweet blueberry dessert with soft ice cream and bits of candied ginger made the evening all the more tantalizing.

On Saturday, February 5th, we celebrated Stephen's birthday at Romano's Macaroni & Grill. An opera student/waitress served him chocolate cake smothered with warm chocolate sauce topped with candles and she sang "Happy Birthday" to him in Italian!

I'm still interviewing people from the Film Industry for the Greater Victoria Film Commission's online newsletter. I've finished writing columns for a 1st Assistant Director - a nice, no nonsense chap - and an Extras Casting Director - an extremely busy, but very kind woman. I'm going to be interviewing an individual in Production next week. It never ceases to amaze me how much work goes into the making of just one film.

Since early this month, I've been going to the Greater Victoria Film Commission volunteer meetings for the Oscar Night Gala. The Gala will be held at the Grand Pacific Hotel on Sunday, February 27th. On February 1st, I've started going to the Calling All Artists' sessions at Congregation Beth Emanual, again -- once a month in preparation for the gala in the Fall. On Wednesday evenings, I'm taking my 2nd Acting course.

Tuesday evenings prove full for Stephen's Water Colour lessons. Also, he's busy browsing around shops and planning to build the new backyard fence which he hopes to complete in the summer.

Yes! We lead very busy and creative lives.

We both began our new shifts at work on February 1st, too. Our shifts have changed. Miraculously, we're now off on the same days and we go home together so we're together in the evenings -- almost-- I have Acting classes on Wednesdays and Stephen has his Water Colour classes on Tuesdays.

Stephen now works on the Dementia floor, the most emotionally draining and physically demanding until they get more lifts. I work 2nd floor in the AM and ALL floors in the PM, except on Tuesdays and Thursdays in which I concentrate on 2nd & 1st floors in PM. It's rough, but at least Stephen and I have each other.

Last Wednesday night, when I drove to my Acting course, I discovered Fisgard St (in Chinatown) all lit up with cheery red lanterns and colourful lights overhead. It proved somewhat distracting while driving. I had to really slow down. Also, a strange, yet intriguing incident happened to me after two of us fellow students assisted our acting teacher, J.M., take out an old T.V. for pick-up outside; a pigeon landed on my head just as I walked back in through the door and down the stairs! It was released back outside, however it did stay just outside the door for a very long time. Later, when I showed a huge boxful of books to J.M., he expressed his overwhelming gratitude for all the drama, script & theatre books (from my writer-friend A.V.) which I brought over that night. J.M. said, "The school's been trying to expand their library and this is a very big boost. You tell your friend that the Young Actors' School very much appreciates this gift." I enjoyed seeing the Chinese lanterns and lights again when I drive home after my class ended at 10PM. Festivities and fun things to do last for 14 days in Victoria's Chinatown.

I had been suffering from diarrhea to near diarrhea-like symptoms and feelings of nausea (no vomitting) since mid December. During one of my visits (and several tests later) to the doctor's, he (a stand-in DR for Dr. A.) gave me Nexium. When I remarked, "I was given Nexium when I had my precancer of the uterus in 2006 and 2007. It was just the way my body reacted." He stared at me for what seemed the longest time. Then he blurted, "I'm ordering a CAT Scan."

I took the Nexium as ordered, but it did NOT work -- just like in 2007. A few days later, in desperation, I walked to a well known Chinese Medical Practitioner downtown, Dr. P. I was squeezed in for an immediate appointment. His herbal medicine began working within 24 hours in controlling my nausea AND my bowels! The next time I saw him, he canned one remedy (for the nausea) and gave me medicine for my uterus/fibroids.

On Monday, February 7th, Stephen drove me to the Victoria General Hospital for my CT Scan. God knows if my fibroids are disappearing and my uterine walls are finally thinning as they should for a woman my age. I hope Dr. P.'s medicine proves to be the panacea.

We won't know the results of the CT Scan for a week -- I guess around next Monday.

That's all I'm able to share for now. :-)

'Difficult' can imply a depth of feeling so deep as to be complicated and intense beyond words. Bear this in mind as I share the following.

I haven't shared anything for awhile, nor will I be able to share everything, because of this difficult time dealing with my father's cancer.


November, so far, has been another month of ups and downs. I shall begin with an 'up'.

Stephen and I went to the Greater Victoria Film Commission Industry Mixer on November 10, 2010. Before we left from work at the seniors' facility at 8pm, some of our co-workers insisted on taking photos of our get-up. At the Mixer Party, I saw a number of people I knew there; some were too busy talking up a storm with others. There are so many people in Victoria and on the Island in general who are in the Film Industry: Brian Paisley (Screenwriter/Teacher), Kathleen Gilbert (Film Commissioner/Location Manager), Fabiola (GVFC Web/Location Scout), Krista Loughton (Actress/Cinevic), Susan Jones (GVFC Board of Directors), Michael Reid (Film Critic), etc. I had never seen, nor tasted so many dips at one time before. The party? A bit overwhelming, but fun. :-)


Next is a 'down'.

On Tuesday, November 16, Mum and Dad arrived late at the Victoria Bus Depot. I took them immediately to the BC Cancer Agency for their appointment with the cancer specialists. I had wanted to have a bit of coffee with them but because the bus arrived late from Nanaimo, it wasn't to be. Dad appeared to have aged since I last saw him during Thanksgiving. When I dropped them off in front of the Cancer Agency, it was then that I noticed Dad could barely walk even with his cane. These two things seared me emotionally.


By the time, I arrived at work, in tears I told everything to Stephen. He was sorry I didn't have time for a coffee with them.

Later, while at work, Stephen received a phonecall from my parents. They wished for Stephen to pick them up and not a taxi. Stephen told them, he would when he finished work which was in 25 minutes time. They agreed to wait.

Stephen took them to our little home and showed them around. They had a bite to eat and Stephen then left for his evening art class.

After I finished work at 8 pm, I picked up my parents from our place, then picked up Stephen from his class which always finishes at 8:30 pm. I drove them all to the Pennyfarthing Pub in Oak Bay where we had a very late, delicious meal.

We shared much and Dad quietly admitted he is scared. Mum is coping well and appears to be doing better than I. (I love my Dad, but I could never be close to him for sanity's sake.)

The specialists said they cannot do chemo on Dad because it would kill him; he is too weak and the cancer is in both lungs. They don't advise radiation either, not until the largest nodule which is already beginning to push his windpipe, is definitely hindering his breathing -- in other words, when the end is in sight. That is the best they can do.

Mum told me that the brain scan AND bone scan revealed that everything was CLEAR! Go figure. Why did the doctors say they believed the source of his cancer was from the brain? A mystery.

Lastly, they said his cancer is so uncommon, they don't know if he has four weeks to live or 2 years. Needless to say, this information makes emotions topsy-turvy and difficult to deal with.

What got us worried was that Dad's legs almost gave out on two occasions when walking back to the car, and during another incident, he complained about a terrible pain in his hip. I told Mum to make sure she informs their family Doctor when they return to Nanaimo.

The following day, after Stephen dropped me off work at 12 noon, he drove them back home to Nanaimo -- a one and a half hours drive. They insisted he stay for a bite to eat before driving back to Victoria. Both were very grateful for all we had done for them and apologized for infringing on our time. Stephen reassured them that they weren't and that they need to ask when they do require help, which they need to do perhaps a little more often especially now since Dad is not well.

This is all I'm able share right now.